I struggle with controlling my sugar intake, I struggle with waking up in the morning, I struggle with doing hard tasks, I even struggle with doing easy tasks like mopping the floor.
Yes, you can judge me. And yes, honestly most of the above stems from my own lack of discipline.
I assert very little self-control on myself. I do admit that.
These days, my laziness has become a part of my lifestyle. My semester break is around the corner now, and I already found myself waking up at 7a.m., and then going to take a nap at 10a.m., which then turns into a deep sleep of 4 hours. I then wake up, find some food to eat, scroll through my phone for an hour, and then I'll be back on my mattress, cozying up with my pillows.
And no, that does not make me feel good at all. I wake up with headaches most of the time, and my muscles are sore sometimes because I lay too long on my back (or my side).
I noticed I feel sluggish and very down too.
It feels like just another day gone, but as the weeks passed, everything starts to compound into one large ball. When I look back at the time I spent, the ball of gloominess looms over me. And all I will recall is the feeling of being "down" and of being sad.
I think, that was what happened during my break before entering university (I talked about this in BC #2).
I want to bring myself back on track of a healthy lifestyle again, but at the same time I am also so scared of failing. Like for example, whenever I want to quit sugar, there will be some nights that are just so hard to resist. Sometimes I get so frustrated with myself that I cried and succumb into my cravings. And then I would feel very demotivated and went back to my old ways.
Although I keep on seeing people saying "progress, not perfection" and "one bad day does not mean you will have a bad week", it is just so hard to rewire my brain again to these new ways of thinking.
But, I guess if you want something, you need to sacrifice another thing, right?
If I want to stop my sugar addiction, I need to stop consuming sugary foods.
If I want to stop myself from taking naps for the whole day, I gotta stop succumbing into the comfortness of my bed.
I keep on trying again and again every month. But I always fail again and again.
Maybe I should stop setting such a high expectation on myself when starting a goal.
Maybe I should start treating myself like a child trying to improve, instead of a perfect adult.
~~~
.png)
This is a 30 day blogging challenge to improve my writing, sort out my thoughts and also hopefully to grow my blog!
Challenge is from pinterest:
Post a Comment