My Experience Studying in KML during pandemic

I remember feeling so excited before entering KML. A few weeks before entering matrics, I began searching on all platforms about alumni experiences and I remember reading a lot of blogposts from alumni....

However most of them were dated back from the early to late 2010s. So by writing this, other than documenting it for my own personal reminiscent, I hope it will also give you an idea on how life was in KML during the pandemic 😊.

A little bit of my matriculation background, I attended matrics during June 2020-May 2021 (I took two semesters) and I took Biology and Physics~

Studying in kml during the pandemic is definitely 180° different from before the pandemic happened. I actually applied for matrics because I've heard a lot of positive things about it from my seniors. I've heard them saying, among many other positive things, that it was the best year(s) of their lives. I wanted to have those best years of my life too so I made up my mind at 16 to apply for matriculation for UPU.

But alas, I was unfortunate enough to experience my matric years during the pandemic :(. There was no outing, we have to do social distancing during class/queueing at the cafe/ and we have to wear masks 24/7. We don't even get the chance for outing (for those who don't know, outing usually happens during the weekend where the college allows you to jalan jalan and to explore the town with your friends). And of course there were no activities held in the college 😭

We weren't even allowed to go home. I kid you not I was stuck in matrics for one whole year. 

Looking back, I feel suffocated just thinking about that place. KML is pretty small, and to think that I am stuck in that place for a whole year...god how did I even survived that? (Actually, physically I was alive, but mentally I was already dead).

The one thing that kept me going is definitely my friends. Even though I could not experience the outings and the social activities, at least the pandemic didn't rob me off from making new friends :'D. I think it is really important to make new friends when you attend matrics. Especially if it's your first time living far from your parents. Find a friend that you could trust, because you are going to rely on each other a lot. 

Back in matrics, my friends are mostly comprised of my classmates. I became friends with one of my closest friend in KML because of a group project. We were assigned to the same group, and then we talked and I really felt like I wanted to be close friends with her. And do you know what I did? After the group discussion, I talked to her about boys because I have no idea what to talk about BUT I really wanted to talk to her 😭. It was embarrassing honestly vdjsjksksms. She must have thought I was a bimbo or something 😭

But that bold move of mine succeeded and we became really close friends. And I don't usually get close easily with new people because I'm really shy and quiet most of the time, but that bold move of mine made me a new close friend! And I truly appreciate myself for acting on my gut feeling~

If you are anything like me, who is kinda hard to get close to someone new, try listening to your heart. If it tells you to talk to your classmate then do it, if it tells you to smile at someone then do it. You will never know where that little action will lead you :)

During my time, we only had a few months of physical classes. We were required to wear masks all the time, and the tables were arranged within 1 meter of each other. So not being able to see each others faces and having little to none interactions with my other classmates, I was basically only acquainted with less than half of the people in my class. 

Don't get me wrong though I reaaally wanted to be friends with all of my classmates but it was at that time that my social anxiety strikes. That was my first time experiencing social anxiety. My hands literally trembled when people talked to me. And my mind went blank and I did not know what to say to them. And that, ladies and gents, is how I ended up only being acquainted to less than half of my classmates 💀

A few months of hybrid classes later, some students tested positive for covid-19 so we went back to full online classes. You know what's worse? We were not even allowed to leave our dorm (other than going to the cafe). We can't even go to the field. It was really bad guys. 

Imagine you can only walk to and fro your room and the cafe everyday for months. Although I was kinda happy because my social anxiety can be put to rest, but other aspect of my mental health was worsening. I started to ignore my workloads, I slept while online lectures were happening, I avoided reality and slept and ate a LOT. 

Everyday the same cycle repeats. I woke up, I eat, I attempt to study, I failed, I spent hours on my phone, I eat, I slept in the afternoon, I washed my clothes and took a shower, went to eat, spent time on phone, and slept. 

It was really bad. 

I mean it when I said I really abhor that place because it reminded me of that awful cycle and of being trapped inside the gates of kml. 

That is how I spent the days in Kml guys.

But of course there were fun days too. Like for example, sleeping over in my friends room is really fun. We talked even though we actually wanted to do our homework together xD. During christmas, we did a smol christmas party and played a few games and sang some songs, it was really nice and fun. Then my classmates also decided to design a class tshirt, we also did an exchange gift party, and before PSPM (matriculation exam), my classmates (all the girls) had a sleepover party! A very memorable night. We didn't have a lot of memories together because of the restrictions so the few memories we had were very significant.

Overall, my matriculation experience did not go the way I hope it would. In fact, it was worst than what I have ever imagined.

My advice if you are planning to apply to matrics is:

1. Socialize. With your classmates, roommates, neighbours. If you have social anxiety like me, take it slow. Don't completely ignore people, make friendly gestures like smiling. It's really important to have friends in college.

2. If you have online classes, make sure you get some exercises done. Spend 15-30 minutes a day for brisk walking. You can even do it on the stairs! This is one thing I wish I knew back then. Even walking for 15-30 minutes will be able to improve your mental health. I just found this out one year after I left matrics 🤡

3. Keep a good relationship with your roommates. (Unless of course your roommates are not a good influence). I wish I was close with my roommates,but we just didn't click :(. I'm honestly so jealous of people who have a close relationship with their roommates :/. 

What I learned from my experience is it is very important to balance things in your life. If you are stuck with online classes and had to stay indoors all the time, then make use of your free time to walk outside and get some exercises. 

If you are feeling down and doesn't feel like socialising, don't let it drag on for days. 

What I find the most difficult is fighting with my own mind. I realize that I am the one who creates problems in my head, they probably don't exist in reality. But of course it is easier said than done. Just remember to keep your self balanced, and take baby steps towards the better route. 

Feel free to ask if you have any questions! 😊❤️