the night before I'm being dropped off

Honestly... I am not ready. I am not ready for acting like I don't care around my housemates. I'm not ready for having to act like I'm a tough person on the outside, I'm not ready for not showing my emotions. 

I acted that way around my roommates in kml, but thinking about having to act that way again...tires me out.

I thought I would be happy finally being able to experience f2f classes, and experiencing the hustle and bustle of being a uni student... I thought I would be happy going away from home.

But thinking about the fact that I have to leave my mom...thinking about the fact that I won't be able to see her every week like I did in kml.... made me tear up.

I'll miss my mom so much. I'll miss her warmth. I'll miss everything about her. God. This sucks.