In this blog post, I want to share about my journey in getting a driving liscense! I actually started in February this year, and I attended driving practice up until March until the Movement Control Order (MCO) was implemented on the country.
I have never drove a car before this, and let me tell you I really suck at driving during the first few days of driving practice.
Especially the 'S' road on the litar. I used to think that THAT part was the hardest, because I wasn't used to controlling the steering, and I ended up hitting the car's bumper on the side road countless of times!
I cried when I got back home after my first driving practice. :(
I improved slightly on the next few practices though. Although there were still days when my driving instructor shouted at me because I kept on forgetting what to do.
It got the point where I literally abhors going to driving practices. I became very anxious the night before I have to go, and it doesn't help when my driving instructor kept on asking me to smile. What can I do?I was very anxious everytime during driving and the fact that he asks me to smile annoys and disgusts the hell out of me.
You have no idea how happy I felt when MCO comes and I could finally stop going to practices (at least for a while).
The three months quarantine somehow really helped ease my anxiety in attending driving lessons. After the MCO has been lifted, the driving class were allowed to be resumed. So I whatsapped my driving instructor and we arranged the day I could start practising again.
I practiced for around 3 days I think, and then my instructor told me to go for the QTI test on the saturday of the same week I started practising!
And that's where my anxiety came back. I was really scared, I wasn't ready, and I don't want to fail.
I spent the night before QTI memorizing all the RPK and RSM, I was very VERY worried! Long story short, the morning came, I had to sit for a short ceramah before QTI starts.
RPK and RSM part were very easy though. As long as you memorize all the necessary parts then you will be able to wing it!
The hard part for me was the one on the litar. I kept on praying so that I will be able to succesfully go over the hill, and I did! But the part where I failed was the parking part! I got so nervous because I felt like everyone were looking at me! And I forgot the steps, which causes the bumper of my car to exceed the yellow line.
Ugh...so then I had to pay RM50. (goodbye money) The jalan raya part didn't go so well either, I forgot a lot of things, and I was told all the mistakes I made all the time I was driving.
I got back home and cried again. Because I failed, and I feel like a total failure.
After that, I had two more days of practice before JPJ driving test. I memorized all the steps in the litar and on the road. There were 3 roads, jalan A, B & C. But jalan C is rarely being taught. And my instructor only taught me jalan A(which I get to practiced on quite a number of times while being shouted at) and jalan B once!
The night before, I kept on praying for God to guide me and for me to get jalan A. I slept late because I couldn't stop thinking and worrying about the JPJ test. :((
I also read a bunch of blog posts of people writing about their JPJ test experiences....which I think is a bad move because it only worsen my anxiousness.
Anyway, long story short, the morning came, I arrived at the driving school around 7. And everything else went exactly the same as the QTI test.
I was hella nervous on the litar, especially the bukit. Let me tell you when my car was on the hill, it suddenly couldn't move forward and it reversed, and at that moment, my heart went "fuck". The JPJ guy told me to get down from my car and see if the tyre is passed 50% from the yellow line. I was literally thinking "wait...is this it? I am failing just like this?"
But when I see the tyre, it's "ngam ngam" 50% out of the yellow, and 50% in. So I told the JPJ guy that no it's not over 50%. And he told me to try and drive passed the hill. And THANK HEAVEN I managed to do it đđđ. And thank God for not letting the JPJ guy give me an immediate fail!
The parking part went really well. I remembered all the steps, and I was careful so that the bumper doesn't exceed the line. Aaand then something happened, as I was on my way towards the "3 Penjuru", I heard the JPJ guy shouting "WAIT THERE! WAIT FOR YOUR NAME TO BE CALLED!" so I was like oh ok, now what.... So I went to the side and parked there........
Turns out, he was talking to other people. Not me. I was really embarrased. It doesn't help when I stuttered when he asked me why I parked there. Lol......being alive is such an embarrasment.
Anyway, everything went well after that.
And then I had to wait until 3p.m. for the road part. The JPJ guy were really nice, and I think he was very tired...because I heard him snoring while I was driving.
But I did all the necessary steps and followed the speed limit, just in case he was faking it. (He was wearing sun glasses so I couldn't see his eyes).
And everything went well.
I feel like passing this JPJ test is a miracle ....I am even doubting if I really did passed. What if I misheard what the JPJ said??
Anyway, I paid for my P liscence (another RM60 gone...) And then went home. Haih...what a great time to be alive!
Out of all these driving lessons, getting shouted at, all the tears and failures, I learned that I am too focused on being perfect. I expected myself to wing every single thing succesfully. I beat myself up when I did not do according to my expectations. I hate failure so much that I forget that failure is what makes you learn your mistakes.
I also learned that it's okay to not be perfect.... this sounds cheesy I know but humans make mistakes. I am only a normal person, so making mistakes is normal.
I don't have to beat myself up when I fucked things... It's okay to make mistakes, as long as you learned from it, and never give up.
So to all of you who are going to take your driver's liscence, just do your best. Even if you fail, it's okay..Just try again, and learn from your mistakes. Not everyone is going to passed on their first try, maybe not even on the 2nd or 3rd try. But you will eventually passed someday, and all your efforts are going to be worth it.
Don't beat yourself too hard. And I want you to know that you are not alone ❤. Countless of people all over the world are worrying and facing the same thing as you, you are not alone in this ❤. I pray you will be able to pass your JPJ test! All the best! đ
Post a Comment