the night before I'm being dropped off

Honestly... I am not ready. I am not ready for acting like I don't care around my housemates. I'm not ready for having to act like I'm a tough person on the outside, I'm not ready for not showing my emotions. 

I acted that way around my roommates in kml, but thinking about having to act that way again...tires me out.

I thought I would be happy finally being able to experience f2f classes, and experiencing the hustle and bustle of being a uni student... I thought I would be happy going away from home.

But thinking about the fact that I have to leave my mom...thinking about the fact that I won't be able to see her every week like I did in kml.... made me tear up.

I'll miss my mom so much. I'll miss her warmth. I'll miss everything about her. God. This sucks.

How My First Part Time Job Went!

 I quit my part time job! I was supposed to work until the 8th of October but I realized that I don't have the energy to go on for another 8 days so I decided to quit on the 29th (something triggered me to make such rushed decision but we're not gonna go into details about that T^T)

Quitting the job made me feel like I was born anew! (although ngl there's a lingering feeling of guilt weighing on my back but I'll take responsibility for that :') ) 

These 2 months of working definitely taught me a few things that I hope I would never forget and would be able to take advantage of. One of the lesson that I learned is to not be afraid to try new things. Of course you're not going to get immediately good at the things you just learned. It takes time and patience for you to master a certain skill. But that doesn't mean you should avoid doing it at all cost because "you're going to be bad at it". How else are you going to improve yourself if not by trying and practicing?